2010-08-29 10:33:04

The self-styled TITANIUM CHEF wields a +15 Meat Cleaver and the infamous 'rotten whisk of fern britton'. The combined force of their culinary prowess launches a range of status based attacks on their foes, such as poison, salmonella and gut rot. Do not be fooled by their unique and arsey dishes, The titanium chef is the combined force of four beacons of pure evil.

Powers
OLIVERHEAD can fire turkey twizzlers from his huge mouth and would not hesitate to launch a scathing ad campaign in your general direction.
HARRIOTHEAD has voodoo powers; He enrages and provokes heroes with his resonant siren song.
RHODESHEAD can shoot off his spiny hair barbs, much like a porcupine. His sizable forehead acts as a shield against many hero projectiles.
RAMSAYHEAD has a deadly medusa stare and feels he is the most superior of the four heads. He is wrong.

THE COMBINED HEADS have the following combo attacks:
- 360 degree vision.
- Cover victims in bullshit.
- Can whip up a really pretentious snack.
- Can bend the space/time continuum to make horribly hard cooking look completely fucking simple.

Weaknesses
OLIVERHEAD's mindless self promoting can leave him open to ranged and bladed weapons; he is in league with JULES the CROWN LOACH, and so his loyalties to the other heads are questionable.
HARRIOTHEAD can be distracted by charity events and his giant mouth offers little protection against lasers.
RHODESHEAD is vulnerable to more relevant TV chefs and his unbalanced face makes him the weakest of the heads.
RAMSAYHEAD's actions are not as real as they may appear. Attacks may not have happened. Check your damage thoroughly, it may have been cleverly edited. He also lacks the ability to attack fish based heroes.

THE combined TITANIUM CHEF is vulnerable to the following substances:
- Pot Noodle causes three out of four heads to turn on the other.
- Soya causes them all to mull over vegetarian options. Distracting them!
- They require a high level of sustanance and fame hungry wives.
- They are vulnerable to non-chrome cooking utensils.
- They can be outwitted by the allmighty Mecha Street-Porter and her cacophony attack.

The Arch Nemesis of the Titanium Chef is Lloyd Grossman and his merry band of Masterchefs.

2009-09-10 14:00:36